“Fuck everyone who let that happen”

LaleaR comes from the UK and has lived as a trans woman from 26 to 34 years, and includes hormone therapy and full genital surgery in 2018. LaleaR is active on Twitter and leads the group of distracted men, which he launched in April this year. Here is his testimony that will hopefully open the eyes of young people badly in their skin and pushed by the government, the left Woke and greedy surgeons to embark on a transition that will have no return.

I want to tell everyone what they took from us, it really means “irreversible” and what this reality looks like for us. Nobody told me that I’m going to tell you now. You have no sensation in the crotch region. You could stab me with a knife that I wouldn’t know. The whole area is numb, as if in shock and unable to understand what happened, even four years later. No one told me that the base area of ​​the penis would stay because it can’t be retired – which means you end up with a literal strain inside that contracts. When you take testosterone and your libido returns, you wake up with a morning erection without your penis. I wish it was a joke. But it is something that will never come back. My libido died about six months on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and at the time I was happy to get rid of it, but now ten years later I realize what I am missing and what I will not recover step. Because even though I had libido, my neo-vagina is so tight and so small that I couldn’t even have sex if I wanted to. And when I use a small vaginal dilator, I get random sensations that capture pain rather than pleasure. All the pleasure I feel comes from the prostate care that has been advanced and wrapped in the glands of the penis, which means that anal sex is not possible with a risk of further damage.

Then there are the dreams. I often dream that I have both genitals. I tell myself I need to wake up because I know it’s just a dream. And I wake up in a real nightmare. In those moments of amnesia, as I woke up, I was touching my crotch while expecting something that had been there for three decades, but it wasn’t. Mon cœur bat à la chamade, à chaque can of fois.

Then there’s going to the bathroom. It takes me about ten minutes to empty my bladder, it’s extremely slow, painful and because it drools no matter how much I relax, it will then go all over this area, leaving me soaked. So after cleaning up, I’ll notice that my underwear is wet a few moments later – no matter how much I’ve wiped, it dries slowly for a good hour. I didn’t know that at thirty-five, I risked pissing everywhere I went. Now, I come to the part where I talk about the middle ground.

During the transition, I was obsessive and deeply ill, I can’t believe they were allowed to do this to me, even after all the red alerts. I wasn’t even asked if I wanted to freeze semen or if I wanted children. In my obsessive and deeply ill state, they just nodded and didn’t tell me the realities, what life would be like. And finally, there is the dilation, which resembles a kind of demonic ceremony where you impale for twenty anguished minutes to remind yourself of your own nonsense. It is not a regret, it is grief and anger. Fuck everyone who let that happen.

Testimony of LaleaR translated by The Media in 4-4-2

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